Broken Mirror
by Rae TB
Summary: Rei must wage a war against depression and conquer his self mutilation problem. Lucky for him, he has some help. KaixRei COMPLETE!
1. Authors note please read!

Authors note: Yes this is not the actual fic and I am sorry for that but I wanted to take the time to make a quick note. For starters this fic focuses mainly on Rei and his battle against depression and self harm. Something I too, along with many of my friends have gone through. This fic has a deep meaning and immense importance to me. If you can't handle reading on this subject or think it's a stupid thing to write about then please hit the back button and find something else to read. I also hope to clear your mind of any myths about self harm you previously had so if you don't have a open mind please close the window. Thank you for your time and if you are still with me enjoy. 


	2. A reflection is only skin deep

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade and I am not making money of the characters or the show  
  
Warnings: Yaoi, strong language, violence, self harm etc.  
  
Dedications: darkness [I luv yew!!!!!] , Akai [I luv yew too ^o^] Kit [I'm really sorry about Temptations of the sea but thanks for R+Ring. ^_^], Shinzui [seriously you rock =P], SPELL CHECK!! [I owe you my life you beautiful beautiful feature you!!!!] , anyone who reviews [because you're just so sweet ^_-] , and my guinea pig [cuz he's tight like that]. (  
  
~Broken mirror~  
  
Chapter 1 - A reflection is only skin deep  
  
Crystal tears streamed down a youth's face in rivers as he gazed into the mirror his reflection starring back at him. A low growl escaped his throat as he brought his hand back before slamming it into the mirror the cold glass hitting his hand on impact. Rei gazed down at the broken shards his reflection disfigured.  
  
In that simple glance down at the broken mirror was more angst, more hatred then any person at that age should have to face. He gracefully leaned over grabbing a piece that seemed to be calling to him. It begged him to act on his self hatred, begged for him to express his emotions, prove that he could indeed feel and to change the feelings of emptiness that possessed him.  
  
Cat like orbs shut as he let in a breath before releasing it. A shaky pale hand raised the shard to his wrist slowly sliding it across his wrist. A almost sadistic grin spread across his face as he watched the thin line of blood begin to appear. The substance was slowly oozing out as he brought his fingers down to pinch his new cut causing more blood to spill. He distantly felt the cut burning and stinging but he refused to acknowledge it.  
  
Rei fought to regain his composure as he vaguely registered that a voice was calling out to him telling him to stop. Telling him that this was wrong but why stop when it felt so right? When he had started cutting five months prior the voice of reason within him was a roaring scream but as time went on it dwindled down to nothing more then a faint, if not inaudible whisper.  
  
His eyes stayed glued to the floor but slowly looked over the broken mirror pieces once again. He didn't know why he had taken to comparing himself to a mirror lately. In a way he just felt a strong connection to it. Well at least in the state it was in now. Both were broken and discarded, cold, and alone.  
  
It was times such as these when he was alone the thoughts would first come to him. They usually started as a fleeting thought but then turned into a pressure building upon him as if relief would not come and the tension would not break until he picked up a sharp object and dug it into his skin. He scared himself when he was alone. The thoughts scared him. It was as if they were coming from someone other then him.  
  
Only recently his normal thought pattern had been interrupted and replaced with a darker one. One that had begun to swallow him whole into a black pit with a force he wouldn't be able to escape from. Among other things Rei had started to feel sluggish as if he just wanted to crawl into bed and stay there. Everything that took place around him a passing car, a platform raising, a knife chopping up vegetables pulled him in deeper and raised his desire to end his pain. He lost interest in things that he had taken pleasure from in the past.  
  
The warning signs were clearly written in bold letters for everyone to see. His recent social isolation his deteriorating physical appearance, his declining school performance, his hopelessness, and overwhelming pain that never went away, how powerless and worthless he felt. Everything was pointing towards the fact that something was not right with him. He had even informed a few of his friends what he was doing to himself.  
  
It was his way of crying out for help. He wasn't brave enough to tell an adult what he was doing so instead he chose to tell his friends. He was counting on them to inform someone but they never did and as Rei's condition continued to worsen he began to give up every tiny shred of hope and believe that it truly was too late for him.  
  
Why was everyone ignoring what was so apparent? After a long time of struggle with his emotions at one point he was finally able to tell his mother what he had been doing but she didn't believe him. His act of happiness was so successful not even his mother could see through it. It was getting to where not even he could see through it.  
  
Rei choked back a sob at the thought of him. He was perhaps the one person that still cared for Rei even if he didn't openly show it. This he Rei was thinking of was of course Kai. The crimson eyed boy had noticed what Rei had been going through and had been keeping a close eye on him. However his act had started to fool even the perceptive slate haired Kai. A small smile appeared on Rei's face at the thought of his crimson eyed guardian. Kai always made himself out to be a cold heartless barrier with defenses no one could get past but Rei knew better. He even knew how to get past those barriers.  
  
Many times when Rei had been close to doing something stupid the thought of Kai had saved him. If he were to end it he would no longer see Kai's crimson eyes or the small glimmer of worry that filled his orbs when Rei passed by. It was the small things such as those that Rei cherished more then anything. Those things kept him going and gave him the will to go on.  
  
It had been rough going for awhile but now he had finally made Kai a friend. Though there were good things about it there were also bad things to boot. Rei had developed a crush on him plain and simple. For awhile he hadn't even noticed until a few kids started to tease him about it.  
  
Rei denied it for a long time after all him and Kai were best friends nothing more but as time went on Rei's emotions became clear. Rei was forced to spend almost his entire day around Kai. Longing for his soft and pale lips. Longing for that which would never be his. It stung Rei's soul beyond words. The irony of it all never ceased to amaze him. The one that was saving his life was also slowly destroying it without even knowing.  
  
I thought these might interest all you readers.every chapter I will include new statistics about self-harm. Who knows they might just surprise you.  
  
Self-harm statistics:  
  
The report, Youth Matters - A Cry for Help, found: ~ 43% know someone who has self-harmed ~ more than one in four people under 25 years have no idea what to say to a suicidal friend ~ 41% of people believe self-harm is selfish and 55% that it is stupid ~ 25% of people believe only one in 1000 people have suicidal thoughts in any week, whereas the real figure is one in 100 ~ Self-harmers are 100 times more likely to commit suicide than the general population ~ In 1998 about 160,000 were admitted to A&E with self-harm injuries in England and Wales ~ Of those about 24,000 were teenagers 


	3. Nothing will ever make this right again

Yay! Chapter number two. I might finish this one yet. This is a really important story for me I'd hate if I didn't complete it. _O anyway dedications go out to.:  
  
Darkness-sama [your review made my day I really really love it ^_^],  
  
Android 71 [that's cool I'm not good at them either they're hard to do!!! ~hug~],  
  
severed scythe [Awwww you're too kind glad to hear I made your day!!! ^___^! Also glad to hear you like the story so far!!!],  
  
Kit [awwww ;_; man all these reviews are getting to me! ~sniff~ I'm glad this touched you. I couldn't wait to get a review from you because I knew you'd understand. Thank you. ^_^],  
  
devilburns [why thank you ^_^ I'll try my best to continue to do justice to the subject!!],  
  
darkdragon32 [I'm glad this interests you so far! Hope it continues to do so]  
  
Platinum Rei [~blush~ aww thank you! I'm glad you like it!!!]  
  
Akai [I'm really glad you liked it!!! I hope you would to be honest the main reason I wrote it was for you. As a thank you for doing your best to help me through this. ~hugs tightly~ I don't know where I'd be without you.]  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own it  
  
Warnings: self harm, yaoi, violence, strong language and themes etc.  
  
A soft rapping on his door alerted Rei to an outsider his face turning pale as he scrambled to his feet making a dash for the broken shards of mirror. He wasted no time in sweeping them under his bed quickly folding his arms behind his back. "Come in." he rasped trying to make his voice sound as normal as possible.  
  
His door creaked open his mother walking in a frown pasted on her lips. "Are you alright Rei.?" she questioned with the usual worry many mothers possessed.  
  
"I-I'm fine." he muttered trying to keep the forlorn sadness out of his voice. He could fake a good happy act anytime except for when he had just finished a cutting session. He could never pretend or hide then.  
  
"Okay." she sighed clearly not believing him. "By the way. Tyson called he said that he and the others will be meeting at the arcade in an hour..." she stated turning to leave.  
  
"I don't want to go. I don't feel like it," Rei muttered flopping down on his bed pulling the pillow and covers over his head. All he wanted to do was stay in bed and sleep for the rest of his life.  
  
A crease appeared across his mother's forehead, as she looked at him sadness evident in her demeanor. "Rei.you haven't been out of your room for ages. Please go and have fun. for me.?" she begged desperate for her son to finally go have a good time.  
  
Rei sighed turning and throwing his bedding off of him. "Alright then. for you." he muttered causing a wide smile to grace her lips.  
  
"Excellent!" she chirped hugging him softly. Rei flinched slightly keeping his head to the ground. 'If only she knew.' he thought to himself causing a single tear to slide down his cheek.  
  
"R-Right well.I better get going." he muttered a strong emotion hitting him like a truck causing him to freeze in mid step. The terrible feeling that hit him with such force at that moment was guilt. Guilt of what he had done. He felt as though he had betrayed his friends and family. However he felt stuck at the same time. A feeling he had gotten used to. A certain emotion of hopelessness in his situation always seemed to hit him. His cutting had him in a vice grip one he thought he would never be able to escape.  
  
It was ironic how he loved yet hated his cutting so much. At first it had been a beautiful release now it was as if he was a slave to his blade. Every time he wanted to cut tension would begin to build. It would continue to rise until it became so unbearable he couldn't take it anymore. He would have no choice but to act on it and once he did he always regret it.  
  
"Rei.? Rei sweetie are you alright.?" the mother questioned softly shaking Rei from his thoughts.  
  
"I.umm.yeah.of course." he muttered before making his way out of his room before she could question him any more. He hated lying to her and hated himself for doing it. He slowly made his way downstairs his feet making a soft padding sound on the stairs.  
  
It had been forever since he'd gone to do something with his friends. The emptiness and misery he felt inside only lifted for short periods of time. When he was around his friends it was almost nonexistent something he wouldn't think twice of but when he got home and was all alone again it would come back five times as strong. There were also times that no matter how surrounded he was by others he would still feel left out and would find himself clawing at his arms.  
  
A soft sigh escaped his lips as he picked up his jacket walking out of the door. Many people stated he was too hard on himself and he supposed this was true. No matter how hard he tried to like himself however all he dug up was more hatred, more anger, and more pain. Physical pain he could handle stings from cuts were nothing to him but emotional pain was unbearable.  
  
A light wind picked up causing him to wrap his jacket lightly around himself. He gently rubbed at his arms trying to take his mind of cutting. Even when he was in a calm peaceful mood the thoughts always came to him. No matter what he couldn't escape from it. It was everywhere. Cutting had become an obsession to Rei one that was steadily becoming deadly.  
  
A familiar building came into view causing Rei to slow to a stop in front of the large arcade his golden orbs scanning the area finding Tyson, Kai, Max, and Kenny in no time. Tyson also seemed to spot Rei almost immediately a large smile appearing across his face as he bounced over to Rei.  
  
"Rei!! Man I'm so glad you could come! I haven't seen you in forever!" Tyson chirped smiling brightly as Rei pasted on his usual fake smile.  
  
"Good to see you too Tyson." Rei said looking over at his other friends his eyes focusing on Kai in particular. "Kai." Rei said nodding in recognition. Kai simply grunted in response turning his head the other way causing Rei to sigh heavily his fingers beginning to once again scratch at his arms.  
  
Max blinked looking from Kai to Rei before laughing nervously. "Let's just go inside and beat the high score on all the games!" he chirped as Tyson smiled.  
  
"Sounds like a plan to me Maxie!!" Tyson said happily grabbing Max's hand and pulling him inside Kenny walking after them. Tyson frowned in mid run turning around to look at Kai and Rei.  
  
"Well.are you coming or what?" he asked looking back and forth at both of them. Rei sighed reluctantly going to follow Tyson but got stopped by Kai's hand which rested on Rei's arm. He fought to maintain his composure a hot blush rising to the surface. He couldn't help but notice how good Kai's hand felt resting there.  
  
"You go on ahead Tyson. We'll be there in a moment," Kai stated as Tyson blinked again confusion sweeping over him like an ocean wave.  
  
"Err.okay then suit yourselves." Tyson said before going inside left to wonder what was going on.  
  
"So what's up?" Rei questioned turning to Kai surprised by the look he saw in Kai's orbs. It was a look he didn't often see a side he didn't often show. It was one of worry and one of fear his entire demeanor was seized by a obvious feeling of apprehension.  
  
"Rei.please tell me what's been going on." Kai muttered the smallest hint of helplessness and hope mixed in his voice.  
  
"I-I." Rei stuttered choking on the words he both wanted and needed to get out. He was frozen in chilled fear and shock from the question and was at a loss of what to say. He wanted nothing more than to scream for Kai's help spill everything that had been boiling to the surface lately.  
  
"I've been having a lot of problems at home lately is all. my grandmother recently passed away." he muttered inwardly beating himself up. Why couldn't he just come right out and say it, why?!  
  
"I see.I'm sorry for your loss Rei." Kai stated about to turn and go away.  
  
"Kai wait!" Rei shouted out immediately the chilling feeling once again gripping at his stomach.  
  
"Hmm.?" Kai questioned turning to look at him curiously.  
  
"I.umm.err. Never mind." Rei sighed as Kai raised an eyebrow before leaving Rei standing there completely numb watching him walk away from Rei when he needed him most. Once again Rei was left alone once again his bad thoughts were returning and once again he was at a loss of what to do or where to go. Rei squeezed his eyes shut willing the emotions away. He didn't want to go through this again. They always led down the same path. The one that led him to pick up his razor.  
  
"Nothing will ever make this right again." Rei mumbled a single tear making it's way down his cheek glistening in the moonlight as a single boy standing in the street continued to struggle with a weight no one should have to bare.  
  
More interesting little bits of info: ~Approximately 1% of the population has, at one time or another, used self- inflicted physical injury as a means of coping with an overwhelming situation or feeling. ~97% of these are believed to be female ~72% of self harm is done in the form of cutting, 35% in burning, 30% in self hitting, 22% interfere with the healing process of their wounds, 10% is done in the form of hair pulling, 8% done as bone breaking, 78%is done in multiple ways. 


	4. Nothing but an it

Yeeeeees chapter three anyone else pumped! Ha I know you are!!!  
  
Thanks to:  
  
Akai - Thanks for recommending my fic like that you beautiful beautiful girl! ^_^  
  
Sky Blade, Random Randomizer - this soon enough? Tee hee glad you think it's deep!!!!! I'm also glad you appreciated the goodness/freakiness of it all!  
  
AznWhiteTigerGrl - Guess you'll just have to read on to find out! ^_^  
  
Devilburns - ~hug~ You sweet sweet awesome person you!!! Thank you so much for your comments and calling me brilliant it's much appreciated and makes me blush!  
  
Platinum Rei - buwhaha you shall never know!!!.hehe it'll be revealed later thanks for r+ring! ^_~  
  
severed scythe - ^_^ remember how you said I made you gush? Well now you have me gushing! Seriously I love your reviews so much they keep me going.  
  
Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah not mine.  
  
'He lied to me.' Kai thought to himself making his way away from the bright arcade. He knew Tyson would jump down his throat for it but at the moment he needed to be alone. Right now Kai couldn't help but feel betrayed. He knew Rei well enough to know the boy had flat out lied between his teeth to Kai's face. Something was definitely wrong with him and the whole my grandma died thing didn't ring the truth.  
  
What was he supposed to do though? Call Rei on his lie.? No he couldn't. Rei had to come to terms with whatever was haunting him on his own. He would be patient for once and wait for Rei to come to him and tell him what was really going on. Until then as badly as he wanted to help Rei the boy was on his own. He just hoped Rei knew what he was doing.  
  
Rei stood transfixed where Kai had left him his mouth was bone dry and felt stuffed with cotton balls. On the inside a battle of massive proportions was taking place emotions fighting to come to the surface. On the one hand was the numb alone feeling he was stuck with a majority of the time on the other hand there was the part of him that wanted to scream, cry and beg do anything to express the whirlwind of feelings taking place.  
  
Passing cars zipped by at intense speeds causing Rei's eyes to shift over to look at them. It was such an enticing beautiful site. He wanted nothing more then to jump in front one of the whizzing vehicles and end his pathetic life once and for all. He bit his lip his feet starting to go forward a bit. 'No.' his mind whispered. He had never wanted this. All he wanted was an end to the pain that's why he had begun to cut in the first place but as he continued it just led him in deeper almost to the point of destruction.  
  
He recalled depression being compared to a pit before. A friend of his said one day you fell into a ten foot pit with slippery sides and no apparent way out. Then after a while you just give up. You lay down and take a nap and decide it's not worth it. That you'll never get out of there so why try?  
  
Why prolong the inevitable.? He was going to die eventually anyway. Would it really matter if he was a few years ahead schedule. After all he didn't like the schedule set for him now so what was wrong with changing it to his liking? Rei bit down on his lip even harder expressing the conflict going through his mind as his legs continued to stagger towards the road. He shook his head turning and starting on his way home keeping his gaze on the ground.  
  
'Don't look back Rei. Whatever you do don't look back. Keep your gaze forward don't think of the cars don't think of the pain of life. Just concentrate on getting home.' Another eerie wind swept over the area chilling Rei to the bone. He vaguely realized that when school came around again Tyson and the others would be peeved he had gotten out of another outing they had been looking forward to spending with him but he figured they'd forgive him eventually.  
  
'I would probably just ruin their time anyway. Why they hang out with a loser like me I'll never know.' he thought to himself his feet dragging along as he gazed along the busy street. He recalled a time when he had been genuinely happy. A time where he had spent every second of every day loving life and spending times with his friends. Basically being normal something he had lost when he started cutting.  
  
After all how many friends did he have that cut themselves? The answer was none. He knew no one else. He felt like an abnormal freak looking out on the other happy children wanting so badly to be one of them once again. However he knew those times were long gone. How could he possibly be the same person again after this? He had lost the innocent fun loving boy that had once been a part of him and he doubted he would ever regain him.  
  
How badly he wanted that boy back again. That naïve little boy that would scowl at the very idea of hurting himself in the tiniest of ways. The one that pleasured in such small things like a game of chase or spending time with his mother. The thought made him inwardly wince.  
  
The women that had spent her entire life making living as painless for Rei as possible, the one who showered him with love was the very women he was deceiving. The very women he lied to every night through his teeth making up where tiny scars originated.  
  
Rei growled angrily kicking a rock with all his force. He was disgusted with himself. Even the worst type of person probably hadn't sunk to his level. The thing that got to him most is that his mother would probably forgive him even though he didn't deserve it. Why did she even bother? Why did she love such a low disgusting piece of filth as himself?  
  
Rei looked up sniffling slightly as he approached his house. He slowed to a stop taking the time to look his house over. The lights were on in the inside along with the porch light on the outside. His house was the symbol of peace and prosperity it was rather ironic that he was one of the inhabitants of that normal looking house. After all.he was far from normal. He was far from sane in his mind he was so cold so heartless so selfish he was far from human in his mind he was an "it". 'What else but an it would lie to his own friends.his family.'  
  
Yes he decided at that moment he had sunk to an all time low and as he made his way to his house Rei's thoughts once again strayed to his childhood one of happy times and an innocence he could now only dream of getting back.  
  
More info for all:  
  
~Self-harm is not the same as attempted suicide, although those who self- harm are more likely to go on to take their own lives.~  
  
~Girls are more likely to self-harm than boys.~  
  
~Adolescents who self-harm are likely to have fewer people they feel they can turn to.~  
  
~Young people with more problems - at school, at home or with friends - are more likely to self-harm.~ 


	5. Another Monday brings another misery

Disclaimer: No the show is not mine.  
  
Celria - ~FLYING TACKLE GLOMP~ ^_^!!! To be honest I reaaaaally wanted a review from a fellow cutter so I knew I was doing us all justice. ^_~  
  
SoulDreamer- Yep here it is! ^_^  
  
AznWhiteTigerGrl: hehe!!! Don't worry it'll happen but not until much later Kai so you're gonna have to wait bud! ^_~  
  
monochromazoid - BEEEEEEEEEEE!!! ~ULTRACLING~ you have no clue how much your review meant to me! I think this must be the longest review I've ever gotten. It went into great detail and I enjoy reading it so much you really touched me and I greatly appreciate every word.  
  
Celria- hehe don't worry I have a warped sense of cute too. Yeah I know at least five two but I want this to have a nice big dash of angst. ^_~ [by the way thanks for sharing the fact with me! Mind if I include it some chapter? ]  
  
Toki Kasurmari - really? I do too! ~chuckles~ Joking but I'm reaaaaally happy to hear someone's enjoying this!!!  
  
Android 71 - awww it loves you too! ^_^ [and don't forget me so do I!]  
  
devilburns - Why thank you my dear here it is! Hope this was fast enough.@_@; Stupid school.  
  
Platinum Rei - Yep it was all in that chapter and just you wait and find out!  
  
Diamond dew- yay! I'm very happy that this showed you what it's truly like I was aiming for that and might I add I am honored to be getting a review from you!!! ~frames review~ ^_^! [glad you like the passage hope the rest of this story does that passage justice!!]  
  
severed scythe- AWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! Grrl you're gonna make me cry! I'm really glad this is making you think because that's just what I wanted and with supportive people like you I won't be giving up anytime soon. ^_~  
  
Rei found himself dragging his feet along like two useless cement blocks. His eyes were wavering between consciousness and the sleep his tired body longed for. A breathy groan escaped his dry lips as he sluggishly made his way to his bed. He recalled a friend telling him the body was his temple that housed his soul once when he had told them of his cutting problem. That managed to keep from cutting for about a day at the least. He treated his "temple" right in every other regard. He didn't see why it was so wrong he just chose to cut every once and a while. There was nothing wrong with it! Just another way of coping with pain right?  
  
The cat eyed youth simply let out a long tired sigh as he climbed into his warm dry bed. Even when the rest of the world was wrong. His bed would always be right. The first small smile of the night crept across his face like a sluggish caterpillar as he snuggled down underneath the covers, finally safe and sound for the night. As the depths of dreams pulled him under into a deep sleep he only had one horrid thought on his mind. School was tomorrow.  
  
The white halls of the ivory schools glimmered with a certain prestige only a learning establishment of such high quality could hold. A particularly angsty looking teen slowly crept through it his head lowering as everyone else pushed past him ignoring him. Before long he found himself drowning in a sea of people unnoticed by anyone and everything else. He sheepishly raised his head looking around for a familiar face. A small smile appeared as he noticed the one person who could always brighten up his day.  
  
"Hey there Kai!!!" Rei chirped pushing past the large crowd to get at him he was about to go forward and exchange a pleasant greeting but his large smile vanished into one of confusion at the anger playing along Kai's face.  
  
"Let me see your wrist Rei." Kai demanded eyes looking into Rei's.  
  
"W-What.?" Rei stuttered his very breath leaving his body.  
  
"You heard me. show me your wrists," Kai growled reaching his hand out as Rei's orbs widened in fear.  
  
"NO YOU CAN'T!!" he screeched out as Kai got a firm hold on his wrist tugging him forward to look. Kai's eyes narrowed at the angry red scars that met his gaze.  
  
"Rei." he sighed a mixture of shame and anger blended in his voice.  
  
"Kai I-" Rei started but quickly got cut off by Kai.  
  
"You listen to me Rei. I knew you were depressed but I always thought you knew better then this. This is not the way to solve your problems Rei. You lied to me Rei. I thought we were friends how could you hide something like this from me?" Kai barked.  
  
"It's complicated." he muttered growing a sudden interest in the floor.  
  
"Just. don't talk to me for awhile. I need time to think." Kai muttered turning and walking away.  
  
"NO KAI COME BACK!" Rei shouted desperately fighting his way through the large crowd to get to Kai but soon he found himself being pushed backwards the one person he thought that could count on him walking away in his time of need. Now he was truly alone and there was no one around but him.and his depression. As this thought occurred to him the warmth drained from his body leaving a cold numb feeling of utter loneliness. He slowly turned away going in the other direction. From now on he would never look back.  
  
Rei continued down the hall making his way out of the school his heart was pounding. He would have been lying if he said he wasn't nervous but this was something his inner core screamed for him to do and he knew he had to. The long haired youth stepped out into the middle of the road eyes set in stubborn determination. "This is it." he whispered as he saw the blinding lights of a car roar forward with surprising speed. 'I love you Kai.' Was the last thought on his mind eyes sliding shut and then.darkness.  
  
Frazzled and frightened orbs snapped open a body soaked in cold sweat chest heaving with effort of breath. "Dream. all a dream." he muttered starting to laugh in a hysterical state. It all felt so real. The betrayal the empty feeling in his heart the overwhelming pain he wanted nothing more than to end. Rei continued to attempt to calm his nerves his stare shifting to the clock's bright red letters. "Two o' clock." he muttered with a sigh flopping down on the bed. He would attempt to get a decent slumber but somehow he knew after his dream that wouldn't be happening. The one thing that plagued him was whether it was a dream.or a premonition of what was to come.  
  
Rei awoke the next morning to birds joyously chirping. The cheery chirps were the exact opposite of how he felt. His eyes lazily fluttered open as he scanned the room with a half groan half sigh as he became painfully aware of his annoying alarm clock which he didn't hesitate to shut off. "School." he muttered wincing at the first word he was forced to utter that day.  
  
School was simply invented to torture and taunt him with it's awfulness. A annoyed grumble rose to his throat as he gingerly jumped out of his bed with a sigh to get ready for the hard day awaiting him. He made his way to the bathroom the floor creaking slightly the shimmering path made of his still broken mirror pieces swept under his bed following him the entire way.  
  
Rei stepped into his bathroom his feet touching the cold tiles as he tried his hardest to avoid the glimmering mirror. His hand quickly grabbed the toothpaste oozing the frosty cream onto his toothpaste. He roughly shoved the item in his mouth scrubbing quick and hard before spitting and rinsing. Rei wiped his mouth making the mistake of looking up at the mirror. His eyes widened his breath quickening up as he slowly backed away from it. He clutched onto a nearby wall wasting no time in stripping off his clothes and hopping into the shower turning on the water to an almost un-tolerable heat.  
  
Rei rested his back against the wall allowing the hot water to slid down his back his eyes still wide and glazed over. "I'm constantly reminded of who I am. What I am. What I do." he whispered salty tears mingling with the water as he slowly shut it off getting out of the shower. This time he didn't bother trying to hide his gaze from the taunting mirror his eyes met with the slick silver surface eyes red from crying and still filling with tears. A low animalistic growl fought it's way up his throat his fist clenching and twitching in a desperate attempt to stop himself.  
  
However before he knew it his hand was pulled back before being hurled against the icy looking glass. The tears continued to flow Rei choosing to ignore the throbbing in his hand. He deserved this all of this.the torment of the mirror, of his obsession.  
  
"Stop it." Rei muttered to himself as the thoughts continued. 'Worthless Rei that's all you are.worthless.'  
  
"Stop it!" Rei said a bit more forceful now. 'Why does anyone bother with you.? You don't deserve them.'  
  
"I told you to STOP IT!!!" he screeched bringing his feet down roughly on the mirror the pieces crushing underneath his feet blood oozing out of the sole of his foot. 'Afraid to hear the truth Rei.? Afraid of death.? Don't be Rei. think about it. a permanent sleep. A rest forever. An end to all pain Rei embrace it.'  
  
"N-No you're wrong damn it!" he cried out desperately trying to convince himself. "Y-You're wrong." he muttered eyes falling to the floor as a knock was heard on the door.  
  
"Rei sweetheart are you alright hunny? I heard a crash," his mother said worriedly biting her lip blood slowly oozing out of her lip naïve to the fact her son had the same crimson substance leaking from his foot and hand.  
  
"Perfect mom. I don't think the mirror was secured properly though. It crashed," Rei said another lie rolling off his tongue as he turned his back to the door as if wanting to turn away from his lie.  
  
"Oh my. Rei are you okay?!" she questioned desperately causing Rei to wince from the hysteric tone in her voice.  
  
"Don't worry mom. I'm." Rei paused for a minute causing his mother to bit down on her lip even harder in intense fear and concern.  
  
"..Fine. just fine mother." He muttered causing her to let out a breath a smile brighter then the sun appearing on her face.  
  
"Alright then I'll go start on breakfast! Come down when you're ready!" she chirped happiness back in her voice as she skipped off. Rei simply sighed leaning against a nearby wall.  
  
He carefully limped out of the bathroom reminding himself to clean the mess up after school. He managed a small smile as he noticed his clothes carefully laid out. "Thanks mom." he muttered putting them on and going to brush his hair before going down for breakfast. Monday was finally there and never did he wish more than at that exact moment for it to disappear.  
  
The facts:  
  
~The main reason young people gave for self-harming was to get relief from a terrible state of mind.~  
  
~Nearly half the young people who have self-harmed tried to seek help from someone before they hurt themselves mainly from their friends and family.~  
  
~Those who sought help found it hard to ask for 'professional' help including from teachers- because they were too embarrassed, or felt their problems weren't important enough~  
  
~Young people are more likely to self-harm if their friends or family have self-harmed.~ 


	6. Ugh not an authors note

Dedications = MAH GURL SEVERED BABEH!!!! XD!!!! Nadya, nadya, nadya, a dedication goes out to nadya and...did I mention nadya? XP  
  
Bluumberry- I am soooo proud of you I can't even begin to start. You are completely right and I have a strong admiration for you for not getting into that...*hugs tight*  
  
slyslicra – Here you go gurly next chapter for you. ^_^  
  
Shaka Dragomir Nocturnus – Awww thank you so much!!! I appreciate it! =P  
  
Lost In The Shadows – I explore around to get them and don't feel bad yes I do and recently I've also been having a bought with bulimia. ~shakes head~ We sound a lot alike my friend.  
  
RxK Lover - ...errr...happy I decided to update day! XDDD It does come from the bottom of my heart thank you so much ^_^  
  
CRaZy NeK0-JiN – Sorry babes...guilty as charged. ^_^; Love you too!!! ~hugs tightly~ I'm also glad to hear you're enjoying this. ^_^  
  
Toki Kasurmari - ~cling~ that's what I was going for. ^_^ Enjoy!  
  
severed scythe – MAH SOULMATE!!!!! ~pounce~ XD you flatter me dahling but you know...I really need my talent back T_T  
  
TigerRain - ^_^; wish I could feel more empathy for him but it's hard when I've gone through the same.  
  
Celria – That's happened to me before as well...~CLING~ That's a terrible thing to have to go through...I feel for you from the bottom of my heart.  
  
Rin Hiwatari – Wow...I'm making a lot of people think aren't I? XD hehe and yes it is scary...it's a scary scary thing I would wish on no one and no I did not discontinue the fic! This one is totally my baby!  
  
Platinum Rei – fooled ya and yes it is XD  
  
Kumiko-Sakamotto - ~shakes fist~ If you die before I finish I'm gonna...TURN IT INTO A MARIAHxREI!!! HA!!! Is that a threat or what? XD  
  
Sarcasmcat - I'm so thrilled you like it!!! ~hughug~ ^_^  
  
devilburns – Aww babes you flatter me so. ^_^ You and sooo many others. X_x I don't deserve it!  
  
Android 71 – Shelly I love you...and your reviews. ~hugs tight~ You can bet I'll never forget you either!  
  
Nicky – yup that's a good thing! That's a terrible thing t go through no matter who you are. @_@ Glad ya love me XD ...I mean the fic... .-.;  
  
Disclaimer : It's not mine never will be I hate these things whoever invented them can rot in hell T_T  
  
Chapter...what is this chapter again? Oh yeah chapter five...  
  
Rei chewed on his food quietly and without emotion the silence his eyes were focused on his eggs lifelessly his movements like that of a robots. His mother watched on worriedly as he finished before grabbing his backpack and lunch and walking out of the house head lowered allowing the wind to beat against him while waiting for the bus. Rei's golden cat like orbs were glued to the ground his grip squeezing the handle of his lunchbox like that of an anaconda the bitter wind nipping at his ears causing them to sting.  
  
Like a metal beast the bus rolled up pouring smoke in it's wake the doors swinging open slowly. Rei kept his gaze on his feet reluctantly climbing into the bus making his way to the back silently curling up against a window sighing. The bus jerked to a stop in front of Tyson's house as the energetic boy bounded on board sitting next to Max as the two chatted. Rei simply melted against the window hoping that if he was lucky he could melt right into it.  
  
"Tyson, do you think Rei's alright?" Max questioned looking over at him with extreme worry as Tyson sighed heavily. "I don't know Maxie...we better just leave him alone..." Tyson muttered as Max nodded slowly looking around. Both Kenny and Kai were no where to be seen which wasn't a surprise...Kenny usually got to school way before them to do god knows what while Kai usually got there just barely on time.  
  
"Did you study for that test Tyson?" Max asked as Rei stiffened eyes wide. TEST?!  
  
"Of course!" Tyson chirped as Rei groaned the bus rolling to a stop. The golden eyed boy stood as he got up running out of the bus and down the stairs leaving his shocked friends in his wake he quickly ran to the boys bathroom tears running down his face in streams as he slammed the door of a stall groaning. "I've been here for less than a minute and already I know I'm screwed..." he muttered falling to his knees shaking.  
  
He looked downward into the toilet before him his reflection gleaming back as he slowly brought his hand upward. He touched his cheek momentarily as his hand strayed to his mouth two fingers being pushed to the back of his throat causing him to retch his body jerking violently as a small part of his breakfast spewed out below him. Rei whimpered shaking in fear before harshly scolding himself. He continued his actions once again this time more of the slimy substance dribbling out of his mouth and into the water below.  
  
He cleared his mind of all the terrible things he had ever heard about bulimia it couldn't possibly be his enemy when it was making him feel this way. It took away all the pain just like his self mutilation. He groaned as the bell rang his hand shooting out to grab toilet paper to wipe his finger clean as he gathered his things rushing to his first class his heart pounding with the realization of what he'd just done.  
  
"Rei..." the teacher sighed shaking her head as he entered. "Sorry Ms. Kyles..." he sighed sitting as she frowned. "Rei that's your sixth tardy...I can't avoid this any longer. You'll have to serve a detention with me tomorrow..." she stated as he winced hearing cruel snickers which filled him with shame. "Yes ma'am..." he stated as he sat down receiving a test.  
  
'I don't know any of this...' he thought to himself horror filling him as he read every question over.  
  
'Maybe that's because you're a stupid loser' his mind spat in return causing his shoulders to slump.  
  
Rei bit his lip as he groaned looking the test over as he witnessed the others flying through every question with immense ease. Why hadn't he studied? Why was he so busy feeling sorry for himself that he had forgotten about something so important?! As quickly as it had begun however...it ended and his test was cruelly snatched from him with nothing but doodles on it. "Class dismissed!" the teacher called as Rei winced shakily reaching for his house keys which he pressed to his wrist as he walked to his next class.  
  
Yes, the cold metal on his flesh was exactly what he needed to relax him. His eyes glossed over as he went into an almost trance like state his hand bringing the key down his wrist. This was all he needed, this was all he wanted. Screw his next class there was nothing there for him not when he could spend all his time doing this.  
  
"Rei!" a voice called causing Rei's eyes to widen as he jammed the keys into his pocket. "Tyson!" he gasped turning around swallowing.  
  
"Hey man how was the test?" he asked with a smile. "Ms. Kyles tests are always murder," he sighed shaking his head as Rei laughed nervously. "Yeah well...I think I did okay..." he lied brushing him off as he walked away leaving a shocked Tyson behind him.  
  
'I don't need him...I don't need anyone...' he thought with a smirk pushing past Kai as he entered Spanish.  
  
'There is something up with him...' Kai thought his razor sharp vision catching the angry red marks on Rei's arms his eyes narrowing. 'Enjoy it while you can Rei...your little secret is about to be discovered...'  
  
Rei sighed as he sat down resting his head on his table. Stupid Tyson ruining his plans the idiot didn't get it yet. There was no longer Tyson and Rei, Rei and Tyson. It was cutting and Rei, Rei and cutting. Rei shut his eyes as he heard Dominique giggling and chatting with her friends. It was easy to hear what or rather whom she was talking about it. Every class she teased Rei and would joke to her friends about what a loser he was while making up false rumors about him. He supposed he was an easy target. There was so much wrong with him, so much to talk about.  
  
"Rei...please come to the board and finish the spanish word shown here," the teacher spoke with a smile as Rei sighed biting his lip as he guessed a letter. Then everything around him seemed to freeze before the class exploded into laughter. "I can't believe he actually thought that was right!" Dominique laughed as Rei looked down with shame.  
  
"Rei if you had studied the letters at all you would have known that was completely off! Ugh never mind just sit down..." Ms. Fantasia sighed as he winced taking his seat the cruel laughter still ringing in his ears.  
  
'They wouldn't be laughing if they knew they were the reason for what I did...' he thought to himself glancing down at his arm vision blinded by tears.  
  
"Look he's crying!" Dominique laughed as she was called to the board. Rei winced quickly asking to go to the bathroom as Dominique correctly spelled every word. Rei ran as fast as he could down the hallway breathing heavy. "I have to get away I have to get away..." He wheezed through his tears all the while scratching madly at his arms.  
  
"Oopf!" he muttered falling to the ground as he collided with someone. He groaned wiping at his eyes before glancing up at a familiar pair of crimson orbs. "Rei..." a deep voice muttered helping him to his feet grabbing his wrist inspecting it.  
  
"Rei...did you do this?" he questioned voice quiet yet strangely calm that somehow made it all the more terrifying.  
  
"I...I mean..." Rei stuttered gulping.  
  
TBC... 


	7. Just when things were looking up

Lazyfifilazy – you my friend are entirely the reason I've gotten off of my lazy butt and started the next chapter. ~cling~ I hope it all works out. I believe the best thing to do in this situation is offer your friendship  
  
Slyslicra - .D!!! I'm soo evil XD buwhaha.  
  
Platinum Rei – Yay for Kai! ~snuggle~ ...~cough~ I NEVER hugged one of the characters in my story...you did not read that! I feel no sympathy for them!  
  
Android 71 - ~crosses fingers for you~ o-o  
  
Sarcasmcat – Thank yoooou ^_^ much appreciated  
  
Kit – be patient like everyone else!!! XD  
  
Shaka Dragomir Nocturnus – here you are!  
  
Toki Kasurmari – XD I try I try! Hehe glad you liked it here's the next installment hope it does the last one justice ne?  
  
Disclaimer – it's not mine T-T  
  
Broken Mirror chapter six – Just when things were looking up  
  
Rei's eyes widened to the size of saucers as he winced trying to squirm out of Kai's grip. "Answer me Rei...Did you or did you not do this?!" Kai's voice boomed as he ran his fingers along Rei's scars. 'Oh Rei...how could you do such a thing...'  
  
"Let go of me Kai!!! This is none of your business! None of your god damn business so fuck off damn it!" he screamed his throat hoarse and raspy. Never in his life had he been so moody to the one he cared for the most. However he felt violated Kai had pulled the covers off of him and now he was exposed naked and afraid. Kai sighed pulling him into a tight hug as he pulled his friend into the bathroom away from prying eyes. "Rei..." he started as Rei began to cry in his arms.  
  
"Let go please..." he rasped as Kai released him to dig into his backpack. First he took out a can he used to clean the cut he then adorned it with Neosporin and a band aid. "You don't usually clean your cuts do you Rei?" he questioned still looking down at his scars rubbing them causing Rei to wince. "No..." he muttered as Kai frowned. "You should...." He stated with a sigh as he began to leave.  
  
"I'm not going to tell you to stop... I can't make you but I want you to realize that I am here for you Rei. You will no longer go through this by yourself, I'll make sure of it. Next time you get the urge call me before hand and we can work through it together..." he stated leaving Rei in a state of shock as he stood there looking at his scars a sudden burst of anger surging through him.  
  
How dare Kai assume he could help him?! How dare he just barge into his life and take command?! "News flash Kai but I don't need you...I don't need anybody!" he shouted angrily enough to have Kai turn to face him. "Bring me your anger Rei...I'll still be here," he said calmly causing Rei to for once be speechless as he left.  
  
Rei sank against the stall shakily looking for something to cut with before the bell went off. "Fine Kai...I won't cut for now... For you...." He whispered wiping his tears away as he stood. 'I'm not alone...for once I don't have to go through this alone...' he thought to himself in shock as he made his way to lunch.  
  
"Hey Rei buddy! Sit over here!" Max chirped brightly as Tyson nodded with a grin. "Hey guys..." Rei sighed sitting down next to them as Max blinked looking over at his bandages. "What happened Rei?" he asked blinking as Rei's eyes widened. "Umm I..." he stuttered looking away. "You've been acting really weird lately man...I swear every month now I see a new set of cuts and you're always such a loner lately..." Tyson trailed off as he frowned.  
  
"What's going on? You know you can tell us anything right?" Tyson asked looking over at Max. "Yes..." Rei sighed heavily. "I...I cut myself..." he croaked out as Tyson's eyes narrowed. "Rei...you've got to stop! That's just sick man...Only a sadist would take such sick pleasure out of something gross like that. Seriously just the thought makes me want to throw up..." Tyson stated shuttering as Rei frowned about to open his mouth to say something. Why had he had such high hopes for them? It wasn't like they were like Kai they didn't get it like him. His world was suddenly crashing down and it was his own fault.  
  
"Tyson's right Rei...that's really dangerous..." Max said shuttering a bit. "You have to stop that it's just...wrong..." he said as he continued leaving Rei to take the verbal abuse. 'I'd stop if I could...don't they think I know all that. How could it be so wrong when it feels so right...?'  
  
"STOP IT NOW!" Rei roared bringing his arms down angrily on the table eyes narrowed. "If you two think you're helping you're sorely mistaken...I don't need you... All I need is this..." he stated motioning to his arm. "All I need is my razor..." he stated standing as Tyson shook his head. "Rei if you really believe that you're a bigger fool then I took you for..." he spat as Rei growled. "Yes I really believe that and I'm not the one yelling at someone who doesn't even care..." he stated leaving the cafeteria. He would skip lunch that day suddenly he had lost his appetite.  
  
Rei made his way to his science class head lowered as he let out a slow sigh sitting down in his usual seat as his other classmates filed in. "Hey Rei!" he heard a familiar voice call causing him to smile. 'Tara!' Tara had been a cutter for a year now...Surely she would know what to do she was the one he had gotten the idea from after all. "Tara I had the worst day..." he sighed as she blinked. "Aww I'm sorry to hear that...tell me about it?" she said with a smile sitting down as he explained everything.  
  
"Rei...you're still cutting?" she sighed shaking her head as he blinked very confused. "What? I mean you cut..." he stated as she frowned. "I stopped a long time ago Rei and so should you...it's dangerous..." she stated as he choked on the air in front of him. "Dangerous?! You did it for a year!" he stated as she scowled. "And I'm regretting that I ever did believe me..." she stated shaking her head. "I don't believe this..." he sighed resting his head on the table in front of him. The one person he thought he could trust... "I'm sorry Rei just please-"she started as he shot a glare at her. "Fuck off Tara...just get out of my face..." he spat as she sighed.  
  
Rei sniffed looking up at the clock watching the class time trickle by. "Come on..." he muttered tapping his fingers nervously as the bell rang signaling he just had to suffer through one more class for the day. He made his way upstairs to his room sitting down in his chair biting his lip as the boy that sat behind him arrived. "Oh great stuck sitting behind Rei again...just try not to smell up the room as much today," David laughed as Rei sunk into his chair scratching at his arms with his finger nails as a period filled with David's taunting began.  
  
"Hey Rei Kai said that he thinks you have a crush on him," David joked causing Rei to stiffen. "I didn't want to start anything between you two just thought you'd want to know..." he said with a smirk as Rei clenched his fists angrily. "Leave me alone..." he muttered. "Aww did I hurt the poor fags feelings?" David laughed as Rei felt tears enter his eyes waiting for the bell to ring. After what seemed like ages had passed the cruel bell finally ended it's torturous ways and rang causing Rei to run for the door as David pushed past him. "Loser..." he said with a grin as Rei winced before running downstairs as fast as he could tears streaming down his cheeks.  
  
Rei wiped away his tears taking in a slow deep breath as he went onto his bus sitting away from his friends as it made it's slow trip back to his house. Once it got there he was off like a bullet inside stopping in his mad dash to see his father holding his crying mother in his arms. "Mom...Dad...?" he questioned as his father looked at him sternly. "Rei...let me see your arm..." he whispered as Rei edged away from him eyes wide. "W-what?"  
  
"Rei let your father see your arm..." his mother pleaded as shook his head eyes wide. "What's going on?" he stated as his father grabbed his wrist. "Your friend called earlier..." his father stated looking over his wrist disapprovingly. "Rei how could you do this?!" he stated shaking his head. "I thought we raised you better than this! I thought you knew not to do such a thing and to talk your problems out instead!" he hissed as Rei stood there stuttering. "Ugh never mind...go to your room we'll talk later..." he sighed as Rei nodded rushing off tears rolling down his cheeks.  
  
"I should have known this would happen...Damn Tyson and Max..." he growled picking up his phone looking up Kai's number before dialing it. "K-Kai..." he sniffed as soon as he heard the familiar hello. "Rei?!" Kai questioned as he sat listening to Rei cry. "Tyson and Max told my parents about my cutting...those bastards..." he sniffed hearing silence on the other end. "K- Kai?" "Rei...it wasn't Tyson and Max that told your parents..." Kai stated as Rei froze dropping the phone in the distance he could hear the loud echoing thump of the phone and Kai calling out his name but all he could really hear was the betrayal playing over and over and over again.  
  
'I knew he couldn't be trusted...' he thought his eyes sweeping over to the broken shards of mirror under his bed. His body shook with tremors as he scrambled grabbing a piece of the mirror going into a trance like state as he brought it down on his wrist watching the small stream of blood oozing out of it slowly. 'This is the only thing I can trust...' 


	8. The broken shards of my broken existence

I know...I suck --;  
  
Shadoweyes1 - -=grins sheepishly=- ...umm here ya go! ;  
  
AT – both my parents are doctors...so...yeah my dad has wanted to send me to the hospital a few times now...-=cling=- it really saddens me to hear you're having such a hard time...if you need me you can email, kay?  
  
Keisan – why thank you I noticed that people could relate too.  
  
Raku Ozzarian princess – unfortunately...this is how my dad acted when he found out. It's NOT right and it's NOT fair...but it's what happens a lot...Oh...Tyson WILL be getting his my friend.  
  
Tikaru – as I just said...he will indeed be getting his )  
  
Indigodeath666 – me too! This fic is my baby...I AM TELLING YOU ALL DO NOT LET ME STOP UNTIL IT IS FINISHED!!!! HUNT ME DOWN AND HOLD A KNIFE TO MY THROAT IF YOU HAVE  
  
Kara-sama - - happy to hear you're looking out for updates!...sorry...as I said in the beginning...I SUCK .-.  
  
Akata 2 Silver S – no, she's not I love her  
  
TNTiggris – because...I'm evil?  
  
crazy nek0-JIN – it's a painful thing to deal with yes...  
  
Chibi Wingzero – that's always great!...ugh...I've had to go through the whole bullying thing many a time...this story is basically my life.  
  
Platinum Rei – here's an update for you my lovely!  
  
slyslicra – that's so my dream...thanks for believing in me!  
  
Celria – ahh you're right! ; though do keep in mind because he's a self mutilator I've tweaked him a bit x-x  
  
severed-scythe – you know I love you right back babe winkwink  
  
Sarcasmcat – thank you so much!  
  
Toki Kasurmari -...not soon at all...--; slap me?  
  
Devilburns – sorry goes out to you too hun x-x I cannot apologize enough here!  
  
Bluumberry – yus that tends to happen x-x  
  
Android 71 – love you!  
  
lazyfifilazy - ï- that girl is the reason I updated...AGAIN Xx; she's on a roll.  
  
Rin Hiwatari – glad to hear you like it!  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Beyblade...I do own this story and everything in this chapter happened to me...these are the events that have taken place since my last update...  
  
Dedication: TO KIT!!!!!  
  
SLAM!  
  
"Rei?" a voice growled watching the locker door as it narrowly missed his hand.  
  
"Go fuck yourself Kai..." Rei mumbled walking off as Kai twitched, following after.  
  
"No I will not go fuck myself Rei! I care about you too damn much!" Kai hissed angrily grabbing a hold of his wrist eyes narrowing as he looked down at it. "You...you did it...again..." he whispered in horror as Rei fought away tears pulling his hand away.  
  
"Like hell you care!" Rei cried. "You told Kai! I thought I could trust you and you...Just...get away from me..." he mumbled, picking his books up, running through the crowded hallway of people, not caring who he bumped into. "I just need to get away..." he mumbled inhaling slowly before exhaling, a small smile graced his lips as he spotted Tyson. "I'm sure he was just surprised...we can work things out I just know it..." he mumbled going over to him. "Hey Tys-"he started receiving a empty look in response. "Tyson...?" he whispered, shocked by the emotionless look he was receiving.  
  
"Rei...I think our friendship has been in a rut lately..." Tyson whispered just barely loud enough for him to hear as he blinked.  
  
"Wha- a rut?...But wh-"he started.  
  
"Because I feel like you've been manipulating me..." he stated standing to walk off.  
  
"What?! But-but why?!" Rei questioned, running after him as Tyson turned around angrily glaring.  
  
"Look Rei...every time I'm around you I feel like you're trying to get me to complement you...All you ever do is put yourself down! Now, this whole cutting thing...that's just...sick...and completely sadistic!" Tyson said shuddering.  
  
"I...I'm sorry you feel that way...I mean...you never told me or anything and-"he started yet again.  
  
"Rei just...don't go seeking me out from now on, okay? We're no longer friends..." he stated walking off.  
  
For a long time Rei just stood there. He stood, and he stared at the place Tyson had been and then the tears came, like a raging waterfall they pooled down his cheeks blinding his vision. He began to sway as he tumbled towards the ground curling up, sobbing hysterically. Tyson did nothing but turn back to look at him, throwing him one more glance, while watching him cry before walking away.  
  
Rei began to hysterically claw at his wrists, rocking himself back and forth eyes focused on the ground. The bell rang but to him it was something far off...and distant...Shakily, he rose to his feet stumbling blindly to the bathroom, his breathing now coming out in hard, angry, pants. He felt as though he was being stabbed repeatedly in the chest but not physically like he would have preferred.  
  
"N-No...if I cut...I-I'll be letting him win..." he whispered shaking. "I'd prove him right!" he cried hugging himself, in a desperate attempt to collect his emotions but the allure of the blade was calling to him, pulling him in, and telling him to slice through his skin. "Nng..." Rei uttered stopping as he inhaled and exhaled slowly. "C-Class...I need to get to class..." he whispered, wiping bitterly at his eyes, as he made his way to english.  
  
"You're late Rei," the teacher stated as Rei winced.  
  
"But I came in just a second after the be-"he began.  
  
"Just. Sit. Down," she hissed as slipped into his seat eyes trained on the ground. For the rest of class he was only half there...a shadow of himself. Rei heard the words his teacher was saying, and knew they were important but they didn't register. He just didn't care anymore...The teen slumped down in his seat, eyes trained on the clock waiting for the bell to set him free from his cage.  
  
The minutes rolled on until finally the bell sounded and Rei stood rushing out. "Next class is free period..." he mumbled hearing some familiar voices screeching to a stop at a corner of the hallway listening.  
  
"Man, Rei turned out to be such a bitch..." Tyson mumbled walking along side Max.  
  
"Yeah, really..." he sighed. "I don't know how I'm going to deal with him...talking to him is going to be such a pain. I'll have to like, pretend I actually care what he's saying...Not to mention the chore of pretending we're friends...I don't even like him anymore," Max stated as Tyson nodded.  
  
"Same here..." he said the two turning into their class as Rei grit his teeth together. Soon his body was shaking with tremors, his fist clenched, betrayal blinding his vision. "I...I thought I...I thought we...I thought we were friends..." he whispered looking downward. "I thought, that...that they cared about me..." he said a tear rolling down his cheek followed by another, and another. By now he had gotten used to this...he barely even noticed his tears anymore or chose to acknowledge them.  
  
Rei dragged himself down the stairs overcome by emotion. He didn't want to go to his free period class...He didn't want to be at school period. All he wanted was to go home and cry...The teen arrived in time, for once as he practically dropped into his seat. For the rest of the class he sat there, unmoving.  
  
"Rei...the ball rang...you need to get to your next class," a girl muttered as Rei's head snapped up. Swallowing back his tears he nodded, lifting himself from his chair, continuing his slow pace to his next class.  
  
"So then you...Rei are you listening?!" the teacher hissed as Rei looked up.  
  
"Yes sir..." he mumbled as he frowned.  
  
"Very well then..." he stated continuing the lesson.  
  
"Rei, it's lunch time...Rei? Hello?" Sarah sighed as she shook him.  
  
"Lunch...food...right..." he swallowed as the girl blinked exiting the classroom. Inhaling slowly he went to join her, finding a secluded area of the cafeteria. "I'm not hungry all of a sudden..." he mumbled sitting to himself watching everybody else laugh. He sniffed lightly when his eyes rested on Tyson, and Max the bitter betrayal stinging his insides again.  
  
"Forget this..." he whispered getting up, leaving for the gym. Rei sat down shutting his eyes as he leaned against the wall, in a desperate attempt to put himself together.  
  
"Yonk!" he heard as his eyes snapped open seeing a guy from his gym class grabbing his backpack.  
  
"Give that back!" Rei cried standing scrambling to get it as he received cruel laughter in response. "Please, just..." he said shakily running after him unable to catch him. Eventually he fell to the floor, giving up. "It doesn't matter anymore..." he whispered.  
  
"Hey, he told you to give his bag back...or are you deaf?" Kai hissed ripping the bag out of his grip pushing him back. "Leave him alone unless you'd like to see what having no spine is like," Kai hissed handing it back to Rei who numbly took it gripping onto it.  
  
"He-Hey man I didn't...I mean-"the bully started as Kai growled glaring.  
  
"No, you didn't! Now scram..." he hissed watching him rush to get in line.  
  
"Rei-"Kai started receiving an icy glare in return.  
  
"Why?" he whispered inaudibly.  
  
"Why what Re-"Kai began.  
  
"WHY CAN'T YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" Rei thundered rushing out of there quickly, going to the locker room. Tyson had the right to not want to be his friend...and to break off their friendship...but to diss him like that?  
  
"Damn it Rei!" Kai growled following him. "Look I really need t-"he said getting cut off harshly.  
  
"You need?! YOU need?! Let's talk about what I need. I NEED to be left alone. I NEED to go home and I NEED you to get off my case!" he stated as Kai scowled.  
  
"I can't do that Rei...I told you...I care about you too much to do that..." he said walking off.  
  
"Fucking Kai..." Rei mumbled putting his bag away, changing with a sigh.  
  
"Okay, time to pick teams...Jesse, you and Ash get to be the captains this time," the couch stated.  
  
"Fine...I pick Kai," Jesse stated.  
  
"I pick Sam..." Ash said as Rei watched them go back and forth. "Well we're stuck with Rei...I guess..." Ash mumbled as Rei felt himself reaching his breaking point.  
  
"You know nothing about Rei so I suggest you leave him alone," Kai growled causing Rei to look over at him.  
  
"Fine...let's just play..." Ash muttered passing the ball down the court. Rei was nothing but a spectator for the rest of the game and was glad when they went to the weight room, where he could at least pretend he was doing something.  
  
"Alright, good workout today guys...you can go get changed now," the couch stated as he watched all of them going to the locker room, Rei lagging behind. He sighed listening to the others talk as he changed swiftly, leaving before Kai could talk to him again.  
  
Rei rushed to his bus finding a seat away from the others. He stared at his feet for the rest of the ride almost missing his house as the teen exited the bus, running into his home, discarding his bag before making it to his room. Looking his calendar over he found his birthday which was only a month away and marked it. "That was the day I was born...that's the day I'll die..." he whispered about to flop down on his bed before freezing.  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, he had seen a glimmer. Rei gulped backing up a bit trying to put himself together. "It wouldn't hurt to just...touch it..." he mumbled leaning over to grab a shard as he stared at the reflection. This piece was especially sharp, but shined brilliantly and begged Rei to use it, the only thing that marred it's beauty was the crack down the middle. The same crack that ran across his heart...He was the broken mirror. He was the pieces that needed repair.  
  
Rei smiled sadly his finger running along the smooth surface, before letting it travel over the sharp edges, gasping and hissing as it broke the skin on his thumb. The teen felt himself falling into a trance, one induced by the taunting blade, by the distant taunts he could hear. Slowly he pressed the sharp edge to his wrist, watching it dig into his skin before slowly dragging it across, his breath coming out in short pants as he watched the crimson substance ooze out of it.  
  
Overcome by his emotions the cuts began to take shape. First in an L. Then in a o. Followed by a s and a e...and finally an r. Rei had branded himself, giving himself what he felt should have been his name. He ran his fingers over the word, his body beginning to tremble as he brought the shard down again, bringing it across the word repeatedly, trying to cross it out.  
  
However, the only thing he could do was cover the word up...he couldn't deny the deed, or the bitter word that lay under all those other cuts. Just like his emotions...all he could do was cover them up...he couldn't disown them...and they still lay under his mask, as did the shards, of his broken existence.  
  
TBC...  
  
I have figured out an ending to this...I'm not sure how I'm going to get there but I've decided on things such as whether Rei will live or not...-=clears throat=- 


	9. Promises that were never meant to be

Pikkulintu – this soon enough?

Shadoweyes1 - -=blush=- --- I AM LOVED!...and someone is jealous...of me oo wheee -

Platinum Rei – course I am! - thanks for reviewing religiously!

Nothinglittlegirl – I found most of it off the internet through searches and sites and such. -=giggle=- I knooow my inbox has been full with your beautiful reviews recently!

master-pupper-4ever – I'm glad to hear that because you're stuck with my writing style for the rest of this story! Buwhaha!

Kixiescythe - -=sniff=- thank you ;-; that means a lot to me coming from you!

Evilchild666 – awww -=hug=- thank you...I hope a lot of people can relate to it

BlazingPheonix – hehe you'll just have to read to the end

Suheil373 – and I don't know what to say either...except thank YOU. I cried as I read your review...I can't tell you how good it feels to know I helped someone...it makes me know this fic was worthwhile. -

"Rei Kon...WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING?!" a female voice screeched in horror from the doorway. Rei's eyes widened to the size of saucers his hands shaking with fear as the mirror shard slipped from his hand falling to the ground, shattering even further. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!" she cried rushing to Rei's bathroom coming back with what she needed to clean the cut with. "Next time you want to do this talk to me!...just...don't...I...how could you?!" she cried growing hysterical as Rei winced.

"I..." he started, head bowing in shame, his teeth gritted as he hissed in pain while the cut was cleaned. His mother pulled back looking at him before bursting into tears, sobbing long and hard.

"MY BABY IS A FREAK!!!!" she cried rushing out of the door. "JUST WAIT UNTIL YOUR FATHER HEARS THIS!" she boomed slamming the door shut. Rei clenched his teeth his eyes shutting as he went to his bathroom. Resting his hand against the glass of the mirror, he ran it along the cool surface, his digits resting on his face covering it up.

"You fucking screw up...You good for nothing vile, disgusting BEAST," he hissed eyes narrowed slits, his fingers forming a fist. "Look, what you did Rei...Look at what you did, you monster..." he hissed his fist tightening. "You tore your family apart...I hate you. You're just a creature...nothing but an it...Why don't you just die?!" he spat his fist crashing against the mirror.

Tears ran down his cheeks, screams ripped from his throat, the shards shattering around him. His hand was now covered in cuts, piece of mirror sticking out, blood dripping down on the white tile. "YOU LOSER!" he cried grabbing a piece that hadn't been completely destroyed throwing it across the room watching that shatter as well. Rei's foot raised, before coming down on piece after piece.

Roughly, Rei swiped at his tears catching his breath and holding his sides. Talking outside his room could be heard as Rei's eyes widened. "No...oh no..." he whimpered rushing out of his room to his window. "Have to get out, have to get away," he whispered opening the window, climbing out, running down the street, eyes focused straight ahead in a clear path. Where could he go? Rei bit his lip trying to think of someone he could trust. No names came to mind...and yet his feet were still carrying him onward, leading him to an unknown destination.

"I told you that boy is out of control! It's all your fault!" the father hissed throwing the door open. "REI YOU GET OVER HERE THIS INST-..." he started frowning as he went to Rei's bathroom, freezing.

"Hunny what's-"his wife started following him, a shrill scream escaping her lips as she went crashing to the ground, amidst the broken glass, and the crimson blood, flooding the floor.

Gasping for air, he finally stopped, eyes widening when he realized where he was. Rei winced wanting to turn back, however, his body disobeyed and pulled him forward his finger pressing the doorbell. In those few minutes he could have easily made a clean get away. In fact he was about to...right when the door opened.

"Rei?" Kai muttered immediately shutting the door behind him frowning at the screaming resonating from it.

"Did...I come at a bad time?" he mumbled nervously as Kai shook his head.

"No..." he muttered his eyes resting on Rei's hand, widening a bit. "Rei..." he trailed.

"Kai...I...I..." he started staring into his eyes.

"You have nothing to fear from me Rei...I am not going to scream at you. I am not going to judge you or tell you what to do...I'm just going to tell you...I am here. I am available twenty-four seven and I hate seeing you like this..." he mumbled as Rei managed a small smile.

"I...I really don't give you enough credit do I...?" he mumbled as Kai shook his head.

"No, you don't..." he stated his lips brushing against Rei's before he pressed them together. Rei stood perfectly still, not responding, his initial reaction being pure shock. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he'd live to see this day. The day where Kai's soft lips were pressed to his, the day their tongues fought for dominance, as Rei sampled his bitter-sweet taste. It was better than he could have possibly imagined.

Kai's tongue swept along his caverns, the pink appendage going over his teeth before traveling along the roof of his mouth eliciting soft moans from his beloved. Soft hands caressed shoulders as Kai backed Rei against the wall, smirking into the kiss as a pair of arms wrapped around his neck. Eventually, the two pulled back for air, panting while starring lovingly into the others eyes. Kai ran a finger over Rei's cheek, lightly stroking. "Call me...next time before you cut?" he questioned, his breath hot on the teen's face.

"I have to go..." he murmured gently pushing Kai away.

"Rei..." Kai started with a frown as Rei looked back at him.

"I'll see you tomorrow Kai..." he stated.

"Can you promise me that, Rei? Sometimes I'm not sure if I will see you the next day..." he muttered.

"I can promise you that Kai...I'm tired...so tired...tired of life, tired of people...I'm sorry," he mumbled as Kai took a hold of his wrist.

"Rei...if you kill yourself I swear I will follow. I will die with you...I will follow you to heaven, hell, wherever the fuck they send people who commit suicide..." he mumbled.

"Don't say that...You're important Kai! You have people that care about you and- nng," Rei started Kai's silky lips pressing against his again pulling back to stare at a flustered Rei.

"...I'll call...I promise..." he mumbled turning to leave.

"I'll hold you to that," he stated his eyes focusing in on Rei as he re-entered his house a sigh leaving his lips.

A content sigh escaped Rei's lips as he made his way home. "Maybe...things...aren't so bad after all..." he mumbled a small smile leaving his lips as he laughed. "Maybe...this will all turn out alright..." he muttered his hand resting on the knob of the door, twisting.

"We need to talk," his father hissed in a low voice, tightly leashed with anger, and rage.

"Who was that?!" a voice hissed as Kai reentered the boy training his icy glare on his father.

"No, one that concerns you..." he stated to his father going upstairs his door slamming behind him. The crimson eyed boy shut his eyes, leaning against his wall sliding downwards to the ground. His breathing increased as he stood walking over to his desk, opening the top drawer, looking at the blade as it glimmered brightly. "Hello again...old friend..." Kai whispered pressing it into his wrist.

TBC...

Side note: I'm writing a sister fic to Broken Mirror entitled Fallen Phoenix...Broken Mirror from Kai's point of view. Expect to see it soon. There might be a sequel...have to see how this turns out. Sorry...this chapter was...not so...yeah TT; Next chapter: Kai has a little chat with Tyson.


	10. This isn't me

SquirrelofShadows- I hope they all do too! -crosses fingers-

Chibi Wingzero – Tyson and Max are fools I say! XD hehe there are lots of oc romances now a days... Just have to combat it with KaixRei fics XD

Ominee – I have gotten one flame but I think you're the first to review saying that you haven't read the fic and already like it! I'm glad you took the time to read it. I have this count of hits for each chapter...and the one for the first chapter is like a thousand something hits and the next one goes way down to 600 something. Also...chapter five and six have less hits than chapter seven...so apparently a lot of people didn't see the need to read either of those chapters. ;

Devilburns – Yes! For I am brilliant! Buwha! -gets smacked in the head with a sponge- damn it.

BlackPhoenixFire – I HAVE A LOYAL FAN! OMFG! XD -coughs- ...the...interesting facts? ...oo...umm...-coughs...looks for someone to blame, picks up Daicho her kitty muse- I blame him! Daicho: -mews, licks paw- ... --; I'll put some extra special facts at the end for you love! o

CattyHiwatari - -grooves- surprised another! I rule! XD

TNTiggris – hey, I liked my ending!...Tyson is going through a stage...I like to call it being a big fat jerk.

Dazogg - ;-; I don't deserve you beautiful reviewing people...You're so very welcome! Buwhaha, yes I knew my brain reading powers would allow me to write a kick ass fic. XD I hope I've helped people as well! They did but everyone's parents are different. Some are really cool about it. What I suggest to you is mentioning that you found out a friend has started to do that...ask for their advice and opinion. Test out the waters before you dive in. Good luck.

Platinum Rei – XD YES! FOOLED ANOTHER!

Evilchild666 – no ;-; OMG REI! I HATE THE BITCH THAT WROTE THIS STOR-...oh wait...TT; damn...

Lazyfifilazy – buwhaha yes the beauty of the plot twist! Love you, love your reviews, love candy. ...oo

Kixiescythe - -hits self- HOW DARE YOU MAKE SEV CRY! 

Raku Ozzarian princess – ahhh, my dear, 'tis my way out too. Ooooh yeah, Tyson's gonna get his )

Scy - I am so glad it touched you! -hug-

FALLEN PHOENIX IS NOW UP! GO READ IT! I COMMAND YOU! FOR I AM-...a geek ;

Disclaimer – Look people, I own lent and fifty cents. That is all I own, honest. Seriously...I'm not lying...I own no dvd players...or a cd player...or a stereo...-hack-

Dedication: to anyone suffering from depression, struggling with a self mutilation problem, a eating disorder, a drinking problem, a drug problem, an obsessive compulsive problem, or an obsessive sex problem. I feel for you all.

"I...dad..." Rei trailed receiving a glare.

"This has got to stop immediately, Rei," he hissed.

"I-It's not something I can just stop!" he sniffed a glare being sent his direction.

"My baby is a freak!" his mother sobbed dramatically, causing Rei to sigh and glare.

"Mom would you just...god...I hate you both," he mumbled as the two gasped in shock starting to shout at him as he shrugged them off.

"You can't speak to your mother like that young ma-"his father started, as Rei froze, his body stiffening, fists clenching.

"I can speak to her however I want," he pounded out, gritting his teeth. "This is my life, and my problem, trust me to handle it!" he stated.

"You've lost our trust by committing such a disgusting ac- Rei Kon, where do you think you're going?!" he demanded, as Rei looked back at him.

"To be a disgusting freak on my own," he whispered, running upstairs, slamming and locking the door. Sliding down against the door, Rei looked of into space, eyes holding a forlorn emptiness. Tremors ripped through his body, his breathing quickening. Every muscle tensed, anticipating the torturous cuts it wanted so badly to come. "I-I can't...m-my promise to Kai...I... I have to call!" he cried about to stand, the light bouncing off of a mirror shard. Rei paused, eyes transfixed the single glimmer glittering and dancing in front of his eyes, gaze becoming consumed by the single flash.

Yet again the trance like state over took him, lulling him into an almost calm state, his body leading him forward, one foot at a time. Time, time was now non-existent to Rei, all that mattered was the glimmering mirror shard. Rei picked it up in his shaky hand, examining the sharp edges, before looking at his reflection as he often did before he self mutilated. This time however, he really looked deep into his eyes, his soul, and his heart. The person staring back at him scared him to no end, this malicious monster, bent on his own destruction was not him, not the him that he remembered, and yet...it _was_ a part of him, a part he had unknowingly embraced.

Rei's eyes widened, the shard slipping from his fingers, falling and shattering into yet more pieces. "How many mirrors have I broken now?" he whispered smiling sadly, it had to be enough to cause an eternity of bad luck. "I-I need to sleep this off..." he whispered shutting his eyes. "Y-Yeah sleep...that's all I need..." he mumbled, going to his bed, sending one last glance at the mirror shards before slipping under the covers.

"REI YOU'RE GOING TO MISS THE BUS!" a voice echoed, shattering his dreams as he groaned, wakening and looking at the clock.

"Shit..." he muttered, turning on his side, standing and rushing forward, tripping on a piece of broken glass, a jolt of pain flooding through him, his body hungering for more, tension once again overtaking him. "I don't have time for this..." he mumbled, getting dressed and grabbing his bag, running downstairs, just barely making the bus.

"Look...here comes the freak..." Tyson mumbled to Max, the two shying away from Rei.

"I can hear you Tyson, no need to lower your voice," Rei said softly, walking past him. Tyson frowned lightly, grabbing his wrist, throwing him back.

"Hey, look everybody Rei Kon is a freak of na-"he started, a hand tightly gripping around his neck, flinging him backwards, causing Tyson to gape in shock.

"Hey, what the hell was th-"he began, cut off by a fiery glare.

"Shut up Tyson, you've lost all privileges to speak," Kai hissed, rage aflame in his visage as he hoisted Rei to his feet.

"I can't believe you're taking his side!" Tyson shouted, Kai shutting his eyes.

"And I can't believe what an asshole you turned out to be!" Kai shouted in return, both glaring daggers at one another. "He never did anything to you!" Kai said loudly. "All he's ever done is tried to be a good friend, and what does he get in return?! Your disgusting immaturity!" he screamed, Rei staying silent, not sure what to say.

"He's a freak Kai! He hurts himself on purpose, he makes me want to-" Tyson said, getting cut off yet again as Kai lunged at him in a blind rage.

"Kai, stop this! It's okay, really!" he said trying to split them up. Tyson growled, not listening to him, sending a punch that collided with Rei's cheek, sending him falling to the floor.

"YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Kai screamed, seeing red, as he administered punch after punch, Tyson defenseless to stop him.

"Kai, stop this!" Max said, pulling Kai away from Tyson, Kai punching him across the face.

"AND THAT'S FOR BEING EVERY BIT AS MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE AS TYSON!" Kai shouted, hoisting Rei up into his arms, carrying him to the back.

"Kai..." Rei whispered, a tear rolling down his cheek, Kain wiping it away.

"No one will ever hurt you again..." he whispered. "I swear it."

Rei smiled slightly as the bus came screeching to a stop. "I...see you later then?" Rei mumbled, as Kai nodded, tilting his chin up to look at him.

"You can count on it..." he whispered, Rei smiling lightly, turning to leave, as Kai gently grabbed his wrist. "Rei wait!...I...want to do something after school...?" he mumbled as Rei smiled.

"Yeah...I'd like that...meet you in the front of the school after class?" he questioned, Kai nodding, the two boys going their separate ways.

"I'm going to get you for this Kai...I swear to god I will..." Tyson hissed, watching the two walk away.

"Alright class, it's that time of year again, group projects!" the teacher squealed, way more excitedly than any teacher should be. "So it's time to pair you up now..." the teacher trailed, picking up a clipboard, going through the pairs. "And last but not least, Rei Kon, and Amber Johnson!" she said placing the board down.

Rei blinked looking over at his partner with curiosity, he had seen her around a lot, but had yet to speak to her, she seemed nice however. "Is it just me, or is that teacher's happiness scary?" Amber mumbled when she approached him, shuttering and causing Rei to laugh.

"Yeah...but you know him..." he said shivering, his eye catching a glimpse of her arm. A scar...Rei thought, frowning. "Amber I don't mean to intrude but...are you a self mutilator?" he asked lowering his voice. Amber looked at him in surprise, looking downwards, nodding a bit.

"How'd you know...?" she questioned as he smiled sadly.

"So am I..." he said. "Hey, if you ever need anyone to talk to...you can call me whenever you need to," he said with a smile as she blinked.

"Likewise!" she giggled, sitting down next to him. "I don't know why everyone's so mean to you...you're so nice," she said happily as Rei blushed and smiled.

"T-Thanks..." he said clearing his throat. "So umm...how long have you been...you know..."

"Two years now..." she sighed, Rei looking at her in shock. "But hey, haven't for four months!" she said happily. "What about you?"

"I...I'm still struggling..." he muttered looking away.

"No biggie, it's all good, takes a while to quit," she stated as the bell rang. "Yes! Have a good weekend Rei, I'll call you!" she said hugging him, causing him to smile.

"Wow...last class of the day...over already..." he trailed in surprise. "No matter, this just means I get to see Kai now!" he said happily, picking his bag up, running out the door.

"Rei..." Kai said with a smile when the pair met up. "Have a good day?"

"Yeah...what about you?" Rei questioned, the two walking along the side of the road together.

"I spent most of it thinking about you..." Kai trailed, Rei clearing his throat.

"So umm...where should we go first?" he asked shyly.

"I was thinking smoothies..." the crimson hair teen said with a slight grin.

"Sounds good to me..." Rei laughed, as Kai took his hand in his. Once the two had secured their icy treats, they departed the store, opting to walk home together. The walk was a few miles, but the fact that they would be in the others company, made the time of the walk fly away.

"That's have sworn the walk home took longer than this..." Rei commented.

"Hnn..." Kai trailed his watch beeping. "I'll see you on the bus tomorrow...I'd like to spend more time with you but...I'm running late..." he sighed.

"I understand," Rei said with a light smile, hugging him. "See you then!" he stated, quickly kissing Kai's cheek, rushing off. Kai smiled lightly, sighing before making his way home, opening the door and getting punched across the face as expected.

"You little..." his father seethed. "YOU'RE LATE!" he boomed, throwing Kai against the wall.

"By one minute..." Kai growled.

"DON'T YOU TALK BACK TO ME YOU LITTLE-"his father started, his words starting to slur as he stumbled, obviously drunk. Kai sighed watching him fall to the ground before hoisting him upward, carrying him to his bed.

"Sleep well you prick..." he muttered, going back to his room, his hand immediately grabbing his trusty blade.

"Rei, phone call!" his mother called, trying to make as little contact with her 'diseased' son as possible.

Phone call...? Oh yeah, Amber!he thought happily running downstairs, grabbing it. "Hel-"

"Rei, it's Kenny, you have to get to the hospital quickly!" Kenny shouted as Rei blinked.

"Hospital...? Why...?"

"It's Kai...he...he tried to kill himself..." Kenny mumbled, as Rei dropped the phone, his heart speeding up, pounding in his chest.

"Rei? Rei?!" Kenny called out receiving no response but a dial tone.

TBC...

-inhales slowly- These are facts about me...and my battle with depression/self injury. I'm sorry if this is painful for you to read, it's painful for me to write but it's something that I just have to do...some of this should sound familiar from the story. I am not searching for pity, I am simply trying to reach people. This is just a fanfic so I figured facts about me could hit home better and let everyone know that this IS indeed a very real, very serious problem.

Facts:

I started self mutilating in eighth grade after my dad had yelled at me basically telling me what a terrible person I was...

my depression got so bad it affected my relationship with anyone and everyone.

I despised myself during the whole ordeal. I hated who I was with all of me and constantly felt I had to be punished, that I deserved to bleed.

I spent many days looking in the mirror telling myself what a loser and a screw up I was. How my death would do everyone a favor...

Somewhere along the line, I had an affair with bulimia.

I used it to get out of school to avoid the ridicule I go through everyday.

I cut almost everyday...with anything I could get my hands on. Amongst those things needles, razor blades, an exact-o-knife, knives from the kitchen etc.

I once carved the word loser into my skin just like Rei in the last chapter...before trying desperately to erase the deed, to deny what I had done...

I've gotten help. I haven't cut for five months. I'm still having desires but now I'm fighting them. Now I'm telling myself that the negative thoughts are wrong. I _am_ worth while. I am now using my own experiences to help others as best I can.

I am writing my own ending to this story...the story of me. I am piecing together the broken shards of my broken existence, my broken mirror.

Update will occur whenever...Daicho can be bothered to complete his job as a muse TT;

Daicho: -mews innocently-


	11. let me be your addiction, and new beginn...

AHHHHHHHH! –smacked across the face- I just logged on, and imagine my surprise to find twenty emails, ten of which are reviews, when I only updated last night! X-x; I'm over a hundred reviews now! I love you all ;-; -snug-

Sunney - -cling- I'm sorry a sweetheart like you had to go through all that shit...but...I'm thankful for every experience I've gone through, no matter how painful, it's made me into the person I am today.

Lone Tiger – YAY! –bounce- my story is deep shit! --- I've always wanted to hear someone say that. )

Redex - ...that is a bit strange isn't it? ...It's not like I'm hiding anything...why, what have you heard?! Don't look at me like that! I'm hiding nothing! - ; ...Anyway, thanks for reviewing! –cling-

Suheil373 – I've done that before, it's all good. ...remember that chapter where Rei lost Tyson and Max...? Happened the same way with me...I lost my best friend, and lost all the friends I had made through him, it hurts so much to have to see him and all the people I've lost...and now I'm starting from scratch but, they were never really my friends to begin with if they'd dump me over something between just me and him. I know exactly what it is like to go through that...it sucks...you feel hopeless, alone, and in more agony than you thought possible. For me it was like...I was screaming for help, but no one was listening.

Catty Hiwatari – I am so proud of you! –hug- always fight it! Even one minute you keep from cutting is a victory. )

flyingshadow370 – someone was busy with the reviews yesterday, ne? XD That's okay, I love your reviews. I'll see what I can do for ya'.........Kill Tyson?...hmm....you know...I think I'll try to find a way to work that in. D REI/KAI ACTION! –drool- ...-cough- yes she is a bitch. wasn't planning on having her come back...but once again you had another good idea. )

Note: if at any point any of you struggle with self mutilation/depression/etc I'm here for you. You can always, always email me at and I'll do my best to listen and help you.

Rei's heart beat at a million miles per second, his legs screamed out for mercy, begging their owner to stop, but he couldn't and wouldn't do that. Kai...I have to get to Kai! How could he do this?!Rei thought, running with everything he had in him. By the time Rei had reached the hospital, he found himself out of energy, out of strength, and out of hope. What if he's dead?! How could this happen?! Why?! Why did he do this?!his mind screamed, questions buzzing around at top speed.

"Rei, there you are!" Kenny said in relief as Rei smiled weakly.

"Kai?! Where's Kai?!" he questioned, voice containing his desperation.

"Room 211-"Kenny began, blinking as Rei took off like a gunshot. A gasp escaped his throat as he arrived, seeing Kai hooked up to all sorts of machines, arms covered in bandages, an IV in his arm. A thick tension hung about the room, as Rei remained silent, simply staring at Kai, their eyes meeting. Rei's eyes held an intense worry, laced with anger, all of which was tightly leashed, making Kai unsure of his real emotions.

"Rei-" Kai said in shock as Rei slapped him across the face.

"How could you do this?!" he sobbed.

"Rei would you just-"Kai sighed.

"How could you try to kill yourself like this?!" the teen demanded.

"Kill myself?! Now wait one damn min-"the crimson eyed youth growled.

"Do you have any idea how much you mean to me?!" Rei shouted.

"Rei what the hell-"Kai began.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU?!" Rei screamed out, panting and falling to his knees, his shoulders shaking. Every part of his being was absorbed by emotion, angst overtaking him. "I....I love you Kai...how...how could you..." he sniffed, Kai looking shocked at first before tilting his chin up to look into his eyes. Kai inhaled sharply, trying to keep his own feelings in check at the whirlwind of emotions he saw reflected in Rei's orbs.

"Would you just give me a second to explain Rei? I didn't try to kill myself..." he sighed. "Like you...I self mutilate...that's what I had been doing when my dad caught me, freaked out, called the hospital and told them I had tried to end my life," Kai trailed, flinching a bit, he had never told anyone that before...but with Rei...he just felt so...safe.

"You...you weren't trying to end it?! Thank go-...you self mutilate?!" he gasped, eyes wide.

"Yeah...I have for a while now..." he mumbled, as Rei looked at him in horror, holding Kai's wrist, fingers trailing over the pale scars. He figured that like his own, each had a story to tell, each probably held a great deal of emotion and hurt behind it, and in that very moment, Rei's heart cried out with Kai's, feeling his pain.

"Oh Kai..." he whispered, burying his head into the covers and crying. "I could have lost you..." he mumbled, sniffing.

"I wouldn't let that happen Rei..." Kai mumbled softly, as Rei raised his head to look at him.

"But what if your hand had slipped and-...Kai...this needs to stop, both of us need to stop this!" he sniffed, the other looking at him in surprise, before looking downwards, nodding sadly. "I'm not sure I'm ready to let go yet Rei..." he whispered.

"I'll help you, we'll let go together..." he said in response, eyes brimming with tears.

"I...I suppose it will be easier with you there..." Kai trailed, Rei cupping his cheek.

"Let me be your addiction Kai..." he stated, nuzzling his neck. "And in return, I'll let you be mine."

"You already are my addiction..." Kai whispered, the two leaning in to close the distance, Kenny clearing his throat.

"Your parents want you back home Rei...they star 69ed me..." Kenny said as Rei blinked and nodded, looking over at Kai with hesitation.

"I'll visit as soon as possible, if you're not out by tomorrow...I promise..." he mumbled, walking out, making his way back home.

"Rei Kon, how dare you leave without a note? I don't care if you are mentally unstable, you will always tell us where you're headed to, understand?!" she asked angrily, blinking as he passed her up, a cheesy grin on his face. "Rei Kon?! Rei Kon?! Don't you pass me up when I'm walking to y-"the mother screamed, getting cut off by the slam of a door.

Rays of light streamed into Rei's room the next morning, the sun awakening him, it's warm glow pressing down upon his skin, the sound of Rei's alarm could be heard, the loud buzz intruding upon the sleeping occupant of the room's peaceful dreaming. Outside, chirping of birds and the sound of sprinklers could be heard, breaking the morning tranquility. "Mmm...morning and time for school already...?" Rei yawned awakening, stretching a bit, the nights events coming back to him. "I hope Kai will be at school today..." he mumbled, scrambling out of bed, going to catch the bus. Making his way to the back, he grinned at Tyson's shiner, receiving a glare in response, causing Rei to laugh as he joined Kai.

"Tala invited us to hang out with him after school..." Kai mumbled as Rei blinked.

"Really...? He wanted me there too?" he questioned.

"I made it clear I would go nowhere without you," he said with a small grin as Rei laughed lightly.

"Alright...sure, I guess we could use some new friends to hang out with. I bet you Lee would let us hang out with him as well," Rei said with a smile as Kai scowled. "Oh, come off it Kai! Lee doesn't feel like that anymore...haven't you seen how he looks at Michael?" Rei asks with a smirk as Kai blinked.

"Don't scare me like that Rei..." he muttered, causing Rei to laugh.

"Sorry...but...I'm really glad that even if I have to put my life back together, I have someone to do it with..." Rei trailed as Kai nodded lightly.

"Yeah..." he said with a small smirk, as the bus came to a halt. "Come on, the quicker we can get through classes, the sooner I get to see you after school," Kai stated, causing Rei to smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow Kai!" Rei called out, a smile lacing his lips as he watched Kai leave, happiness reflecting in his eyes. "Mmm...maybe...things won't be so bad after all..." he muttered smiling lightly, going to his room.

Whistling as he entered, he went to change his shirt, freezing when the mirror's glimmer caught his attention yet again, the light dancing in front of his eyes. Slowly he turned and walked over, bending down as he collected the pieces, slowly putting it back together, shard by shard. He knew it would take awhile to completely put back together but he was willing to give it time. Cracks would remain, symbolizing the mirror had once been shattered beyond repair, but somehow, he wanted it that way. Each shard was its own intricate part of the mirror, just like the complex tapestry of his soul.

He never wanted to forget his experiences, never wanted to sweep the pieces underneath his bed, and he always wanted to remember the pain self mutilation had brought, while restoring new hope, the hope to live a happier and healthier life, free of cuts. He knew this would be something both him and Kai would struggle to achieve, but they would do it together and whether the mirror had intended to be Rei's biggest aid in the upcoming battle of emotion or not, he was grateful for the chance it had given him to start anew and grateful that his shattered soul could finally begin to mend.

Well, that's it...Broken Mirror is no more! Sorry...all good things must come to an end I'm afraid...don't worry however. There are so many questions still left unanswered, what of Tyson's threat, Rei's relations with his parents, Kai's relations with his parents, will the two manage to conquer over self mutilation, or will they relapse? All this and more will be answered in the sequel be looking out for it, and don't forget the sister fic.


End file.
